Oxytocin
By Diane Arnold
Scientists have discovered that oxytocin (a bonding hormone) released during the initial stage of infatuation causes couples to feel euphoric and turned on by physical touch.
It actually works like a drug, giving us immediate rewards that bind us to our lover. Researchers in one 2012 study found that couples in the first stages of romantic attachment had significantly higher levels of oxytocin than their unattached counterparts.
But oxytocin is tied to more than just new love. It is also released during sexual activity and linked to the intensity of orgasms.
Female hormones make a woman's brain better wired for long-term romantic activity than a man's.
When people hug or kiss a loved one, oxytocin levels increase; hence, oxytocin is often called "the love hormone.
Another 2013 study summarized all of oxytocin’s possible relationship-enhancing effects. Some of these include:
trust
gazing
empathy
positive relationship memories
fidelity
positive communication
processing of bonding cues
Just as testosterone levels are much higher in males, oxytocin levels are generally higher in females.
Male oxytocin or the bonding chemical levels are up to 10 times lower than females.
However, there is one time when the male oxytocin levels approach the normal female levels. That is during sexual orgasm. That is when a man ejaculates.
During this time, his oxytocin levels shoot up to the levels that the female experience during other times of a normal day.
Researchers define sexual afterglow as “satisfaction that lingers following sexual activity." Some couples stay satisfied long after intercourse has ended. These researchers suggest that these afterglow functions promote bonding in romantic couples.
Here is something really interesting. Oxytocin not only makes you feel closer to your mate, it also prevents you from becoming close to other potential mates.
Why? Because you are bonding to YOUR spouse.
For a man who loves his wife, sex is not merely a desire for physical pleasure. It is also his desire to feel emotionally connected with his wife.
One thing to consider about the addicting power of oxytocin. What do you think happens when people look at pornography or fantasize about someone else? Whom do you believe they are now bonding with?
Despite any of those theories, most importantly, it takes away a connection with their spouse.